In my discussions on free will and how agency resides in the upstream moments of quiet reflection, I have often been challenged to describe the mechanism that allows self-determination — the ability to choose which neurons in the brain will fire next.
This is a hard problem. Determinists argue that the Upstream Moment simply pushes the problem of determinism further up the causal chain. In response, I offer the following highly speculative model. It is not scientific. It is simply one way I am trying to visualize how genuine free will might operate within a lawful universe.
To understand the mechanism of free will, we must first address the nature of consciousness itself, as I believe the two are deeply connected.
I begin with the nature of reality. Imagine how images appear on a computer screen. The screen is made up of thousands (or millions) of tiny dots called pixels. Each pixel can be turned on or off, or given a specific color. The computer rapidly updates the state of all these pixels — many times per second — creating the illusion of smooth motion. This update rate is called the refresh rate. Click here for my theory: The Micro-Cellular Theory of Space and Time
I propose that our physical universe works in a similar way. Space and time are composed of discrete micro-cells, or “pixels” of reality. These pixels are updated at an incredibly high refresh rate, creating the continuous flow of experience we call time.
What controls the state of these pixels?
Outside our subjective physical reality, in what we might call the spirit realm, lies a Cosmic Compute Cloud. This cloud governs the unfolding of reality and consists of three main components:
- A Master CPU, an autonomous aspect of God’s mind, that enforces the consistent laws of physics.
- A vast Cosmic database that contains an address and complete history for every pixel in the universe.
- A cluster of Virtual Private Servers (VPS) — one for each individual consciousness.
Each person’s consciousness functions as its own dedicated VPS within this spirit realm cloud. Like a VPS on a server, it has its own processing capability and can interface with the larger system. It receives constant feedback from the physical world — genetics, environment, brain states, and past choices — which weighs heavily on its decision-making.
However, in moments of relative neural equilibrium (when competing pressures are low), the VPS can exercise genuine agency. It makes a real decision, which is passed through the Master CPU into the Holy Spirit database. The database then instantaneously updates the properties of the associated physical pixels. This is how downward causation occurs: a choice made in the spirit realm shapes physical reality.
God can intervene cooperatively — for example, through prayer — often by making small early nudges that produce large downstream effects, always in ways that least violate the established laws of physics.
There is no randomness in the system. Everything flows through lawful, structured channels. Yet within those channels, the VPS retains real agency — heavily influenced, but not fully determined.
This model helps me visualize how the Upstream Moment can be real. In quiet reflection, when the physical pressures are low, the VPS (our conscious self) has the greatest freedom to choose which pathways to strengthen. Those choices then become part of the causal chain, compounding over time and shaping who we become.
I do not claim this is the explanation. It is simply my current best attempt to imagine how a transcendent spark of consciousness can operate within a lawful universe while still allowing genuine free will — the kind necessary for real love, moral responsibility, and meaning.
I offer it humbly, as one more upstream moment of reflection.